Archive for March, 2010

Just an update =]

March 21, 2010

Hi there ladybugs and gentlemugs =] Hope everyone is healthy and happy! Thanks for coming over, help yourself to imaginary Tea and Cake and pop yourslef down on a big comfy cushion as i type out todays blog =]

Soooo at this moment in time im sick. Boooooo! Yes yes I am sick once again. This time i think its either a very nasty Virus or the dreaded Measles! My brother is sick too and is convinced Measles is his ailment and my mother has been a bit off color too. Ive had some kind of rash on my face and puffy eyes which i first put down to an allergic reaction to something or eczema. But I now have a rash on my body and am suffering from extreme tiredness, headaches and nausea. Whatever this is I’m not loving it. So being the herbal junkie I am I have been stuffing myself full of pills like Garlic, Echinacea, Vitamin E, Vitamin C, Multivits and Minerals, Omegas, EPOs…you name it i’ve probably popped it this weekend! I had to take the day off work Saturday but I can’t afford to take the next week off so I shall have to soldier on. As if it wasn’t shiteous enough, I can’t visit my family Danny and Laura and Ronnie! If you know me well you know that these people are my life. My real family. My home. My everything. So it sucks that I can’t see them until I am in better health but it has to be this way as I obviously don’t want them getting sick especially Ronnie as he is only a kid. So wish me back to health please friends! I crave to be back to where I was a few months ago. I was fully Vegan and in the best health I have ever been! But if you have been following me you will know that I kind of spiraled out of control in pretty much every aspect of my life recently and Veganism unfortunatley took a leave of absence. Which leads me to my next topic..

I spent some time with my BFF Declan while he was up here recently. He is an amazing person – so beautiful inside and out and knows me better than I know myself. He has really helped me see tat allthough I lost my way I can find my path again and that’s what I’m doing. After talking it through with him I realised that moving to London HAS to happen. No ifs. No buts. I also realised that make up is not my passion. I am going to continue on in Nutrition and hopefully end up working in the field higher up than I am now, and hopefully soon will practise what i preach! I have learned that I am not one of these people who gets things done as soon as they set their mind to it. I am  a flake. I am unmotivated. I get lost easily. When I fall I find it hard to pick myself up and stay up. This is me. But I am trying to et back up and one of the things I need to work on is my health. I know so much about nutrition and diet and fitness, hell I get paid to teach it! But following it is harder than talking about it. I need to practise what I preach. So i am going to start again getting healthy. I will fall. I will binge and purge. I wil eat meat and feel terrible about it. But I will get over it and start again and again and again until I succeed and get to the point where I can say no and mean no.

I hope this is all making sense. Its hard to rearrange the thoughts in my head haha!

But basically I am telling you that I am getting back on track. I hope that you guys understand that I am not perfect and don’t claim to be. I am just me. Thanks for loving me anyway ;]

Love and Light Magdalena xo

love.love.love.hate.

March 14, 2010

LOVE

Jelly Beans.  Lush.  Benefit Makeup.  Rollercoasters. Chocolate Protein Shakes.  Chipmunks.  Movies.  Audrey Kitching. Childish Pajamas.   Lavender. Topshop. Diet Cherry Cola. Baby  Pink.  Tofu.  Coffee. Pete Wentz.   Soup.  Emerald Green. Being Messy Then Going OCD.  Pizza.  Ginger Tea. Primark.  Hayley Williams.  Glee.  The Beach Boys.  Desperate Housewives.  Sherbot Lemon Yellow. Reading.  Giving. Taking.  Green Tea. Paramore. Turqouise.  Buffy.  Music. Jam Tarts. Grey. Yorkshire Puddings. Ballet Pumps.  Vampire Diaries.   Gravy.  Honey.  Black. Cranberries.  Cherrys.  Taking It A Day At A Time. My Job. Blogging. Learning.  The Beatles. Sex And The City. Bubble Baths. Face Masks. Too Many Bracelets. Too Many Rings. Oversized Band Shirts.  My Sister In Law  .  Napping. Daydreaming.  Doodling.  Christmas.  The Radio. Travelling.  Nephew.  Texting. Sunshine.  Dancing In My Underwear. Maddona. Retro. Vintage. The Dice Man. Change. Vinyls.  Vivienne Westwood. Twilight Saga. Declan. Thinspiration. We Are The Ocean. My Brother.   Halloween.  Blink 182.  Collages. Self HelpBooks.  Jon And Kate Plus 8. Kids. Happiness. Cartoons. Art.  Riding Bikes. Disney. Rachel Mcadams. Cookies. Tots TV. Matthew Lawrence. Marilyn Manson. Tattoos. Piercings. Glitter. Sequins. London. Red Hair. The Hills. Comedy. Horror Films. Vampires. The Virgin Suicides. Michael Cera. Mascara. Lipbalms In Every Flavour. Over Packing My Bag. Walking Everywhere. Taking Pictures.  Going To The Movies. Jumping. Smilling. Twitter. The Smell Of Coconut. Vanilla. Sunglasses. Joy. Love.

HATE

Bullies. Bipolar Disorder. Anxiety. Being Fat. Depression. Being Unmotivated. Being Judged. Paranoia. Being Ugly. Hurting Other People. Insects. Being Too Hot Or Too Cold. Not Having Money. Owing Money. My ID Photo. Always Being Late No matter What. My Parents. Failing. Not Knowing What I want. Not Knowing Who I Am.

What do you Love/Hate?  M xo

Go away please Debbie Downer.

March 9, 2010

So you probably know that I left Twitter and other social networking sites for a short period of time after taking a break from my computer to focus on my life. Well I am back. But things have gotten worse. I have no idea what is going on with my home situation. My mum is walking out and looking at womens refuges after putting up with my dad beating on her for the last 20 odd years. My dad is in denial. My brother is following in my dads footsteps and beating on his girlfriend. The police have been to our house twice in one weekend. I have gained weight. Got really unhealthy. No idea what I am doing with my life. Dont have a clue what I want to do jobwise. Quitting 1 job.dropped out of college for the second time. I ate meat. I drank too much. I smoked. I took things i shouldnt have taken, Did things I shouldnt have done. I let myself down. I pressed the self destruct button.Yeah life isn’t so good. But I am back because I know that shutting myself off and isolating myself is not a good idea right now and I have some really good friends that support me on twitter. As sad as that sounds haha. So I am back.

But you know what? I want you to read that last paragraph and know that you should NOT feel bad for me. Because I don’t. I am sick of being depressed. I am sick of beating myself up and drowning in negativity. There has to be a point in your life when you stand up and say ”Fuck Off!” to the Debbie Downer in you. That time is now for me. I will let my parents get on with their self destruction. I will not join them in that. I have a fantastic brother and sister in law and the best friends ever! I have a good heart and the potential to be a good person and do good things. I will put that potential to good use.

So right now I may be confused and lost but I am not alone. I am not out of the game i am just on pause. I just need to figure out my game plan and resume. Would appreciate any help and guidance from you guys!

So my message i suppose for this post is that we all get a little lost some times. We all go astray at some point. Its ok. We are just misguided ghosts remember? You all know that its whats in our hearts that counts, our intentions. We just need to work on turning those intentions into actions. We will get there I promise you. We just need to kick Debbie Downer out of the way! =]

And on that note I will stop rambling on and get back to drinking too much tea and falling asleep. =] I will also leave youwith my favourite quote from my favourite person. ”Every once in a while you have to change everything about yourself. Where you live and what you look like..” – Audrey Kitching

No name xo

It’s not Goodbye it’s TTFN..

March 3, 2010

..As in Ta Ta For Now ..gotta love Tigger! :p
Anyway so I’m basically just giving you guys the explanation I promised. I am currently layed in bed sick with a bug that’s been going around. I have been scammed by bank fraudsters. Had a bad time at work. Had some problems with my second job. Have had money problems. .. I could go on with my list of problems right now. I know I know! Whiney little bitch haha! Well this is one of the reasons I am taking a breal from networking. I don’t want to spread the misery! I am little miss good intention remember? I want to spread peace and love and optimism. Not stomach flu and pesimism!
The other reason is that I have some serious problems to fix and am going through big changes in my life right now and need to focus on these things. It’s like I’m driving around, looking at which roads to go down and I’m so busy tweeting on my phone I keep missing the turn haha !
So I am getting rid of my computer and taking a break from twitter/myspace/youtube ohmygosh the list is so long haha I have so many accounts! I still have twitter and wordpress and facebook on my phone.. So I will probably check in every now again but I hope I don’t untill I’ve been more productive ! It’s going to be hard. I love twitter! But this needs to happen. I need no distractions.
Once I feel like I’ve got more control of my life I will come back. Twitter is staying no matter what but I don’t know what other accounts will stay. So untill I’m back keep following me on twitter.com/veggiedelightxo and you will see my return!
In the meanwhile I love you all dearly and wish you well! Speak sooooooon mwah! xo